woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
