I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ttyl tear gas
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
