he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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