Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
