i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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