I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
