and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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