Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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