I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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