I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My bed smells like the plague
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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