"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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