I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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