We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
