Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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