Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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