Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
