Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
