Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
