I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
do nipples grow back?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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