i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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