Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
