I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
