Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
