I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
