That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
