Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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