what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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