I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
