im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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