Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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