She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
