is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
