im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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