dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.