This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dating After Heartbreak
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂