taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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