3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.