Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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