your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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