So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize