I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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