when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
