im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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