youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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