Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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