His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
