I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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