Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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