fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
