They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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