I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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