omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
