My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize