so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
