C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
