For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
