some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
